and i'm a monkey's uncle.

Many Chileans have a working knowledge of English and can be downright obstinate about putting it to use when they meet a gringo.  Case in point:  a couple of weeks ago, my friend Andrew and I were in a taxi and the driver told us that he'd been to several cities in the US.  He wanted to explain that he'd been a merchant marine for many years, but instead of simply telling us in Spanish (which without a doubt would have been easier to understand), he stuck his thumb to his chest and declared, in heavily accented English "I am seaman."  We had NO idea what he was saying, or even that he was speaking our mother tongue.  But rather than admit defeat and switch to Spanish, he opted to repeat himself until the weight of his words sunk in: "I am seaman.  I AM SEAMAN.  I.  AM SEAMAN.   I. AM. SEAMAN.  I AM SEAMAAANNN!"