WHEN IN ROME

Something about the phrase "When in Rome..." really tickles me, you know?  I think it has something to do with the fact that the expression is frequently employed to justify heavy alcohol consumption and/or generally erratic behavior.  And also that "Rome" can be anywhere from, well, Rome, to Saskatchewan, to your grandmother's nursing home.  It's all about blending in.  Cultural camouflage.  Being at one with your surroundings.

In the spirit of doing as the Romans (in this case Chileans) do, I've been trying to achieve the most Chilean lifestyle possible.  This means:

• Eating a giant brick of food mid-day and sleeping it off with a delicious afternoon nap. 
• Minimal exercise. 
• Listening to reggaeton, pop latino, cumbia, pachanga, and bachata.  To share the love, I recommend that you listen to this, this, this, this, this, this, and this.  This in no way means that I have left behind my love for gringo delicacies like this.
• Drinking pisco and going dancing when all I really want is a fine microbrew and some quality conversation.
• Growing accustomed to "piropos."  Let's face it...I can walk the walk and talk the talk as much as I want, but my pasty white skin and strawberry blond locks won't ever really blend in here.  After two decades of being the most whitebread variety of 'murrican imaginable, it was something of a shock to suddenly become exotic and different upon hitting Latin American soils.  Now, though, I've come to expect eyes to follow me as I go about my daily business.  I know with 100% certainty that when I pass a certain type of man, whether I'm well groomed or flushed and soaked in sweat after a jog on the beach, said gentleman will whisper something along the lines of "come closer, tasty gringa."  If he is more creative, he might say "a ten" or "blondie, you beat me."  My personal favorite began with the typical "precious, tasty gringa" dog and pony show, but ended with "Take care, my dear.  Walk with God."  This combination of hot-blooded perviness mixed with genuine goodwill struck me as 100% Chilean.  Far from being chauvinistic or insulting, "piropos"are considered perfectly appropriate and, in fact, flattering within Latin American society.  While at first they made me feel uncomfortable and objectified, these little comments have come to be completely commonplace.  And honestly, they don't hurt the ol' ego.  A little part of me will feel disappointed and insecure when, upon returning to the United States, I don't get ogled and jeered at on my way to the supermarket.  
• Dealing with the presence of paperwork and bureaucracy in nearly every aspect of everyday life.  This one's pretty self-explanatory, but I'll share a little anecdote just to drive home my point: A few weeks ago, I needed to pay my cell phone bill.  You can't just pay online in Chile, oHOO no.  One must go to the special bill-paying store, take a number, and wait in line.  Well, I arrived at "ServiPag" and, remarkably, there was no line, just one woman paying her bills.  Feeling that the "take a number" system was irrelevant in this situation, I merely sat down and waited for my turn to come.  In the meantime, another woman arrived, scanned the room, CLEARLY saw that I was there before her, and took a number.  When the cashier finished with the customer in front of me, he hit the button to advance the number and I walked forward to pay my bill.  Before I could say "hola," this wack-job of a woman behind me in line marches forward and says "EXCUSE ME, THAT'S MY NUMBER."  I started to explain that numbers are far from necessary when there are only two customers, before taking a deep breath, resignedly shrugging my shoulders and allowing her to cut me in line. From this experience, I learned two things: 1) in Chile, bureaucracy is king and 2) I am the bigger person.  
• Greeting with besos.  I kiss everyone I meet on the right cheek now.  It's such a warm, nice way to greet people.  I think I'll be bringing it back stateside.    
• Spending as much time with family as possible.  Family is at the center of Chilean life.  It's not uncommon to spend an entire Saturday or Sunday gathered around the kitchen table and talking, with lunch blending into dinner.  These marathons of family togetherness are wonderful.  
• Gaining a new appreciation for youth activism.  Where I come from, the highest expression of student discontent is a strongly worded (read: bitchy, but with an intellectual veneer) e-mail to the editorial staff of the college newspaper.  Here, it's a national strike where students march in the streets and barricade academic buildings.  Different?  I'll say.  Critics will tell you that this kind of militant approach has become kind of knee-jerk...reaching the extreme where students take to the streets for a 1 cent increase in bus fare.  I, for one, love that young people here are so passionate, willing to do whatever it takes to get their government's attention.  It's refreshing, frankly.  And it all ties back to my favorite chilenismo: "the baby that doesn't cry, doesn't eat."  Watch out, America.  Next time you see me I'll be sticking it to The Man, quoting Che Guevara incessantly, and drawing sharpie anarchy signs on anything within arm's reach.  
• Throwing my toilet paper in the wastebin next to the toilet.  After the initial shock, I'm now 100% used to this custom.  Family, friends, if you notice an unpleasant smell in my bathroom back home, know that I am missing Chile and kindly allow me to continue coping with my reverse culture shock the only way I know how.  

Well, I've only got three weeks left in this whirlwind adventure.  Where the H-E-DOUBLEHOCKEYSTICKS has the time gone?  Next week I'm headed to Peru to visit my friends Joanna and Ben and see Machu Picchu!!!!!

XOXO, K8

PS:  I had a CLASSIC "when in Rome" moment last week, sampling Chorillana- typical Valparaíso dish consisting of a mountain of french fries topped with, onion, cheese, fried egg, and assorted meats.  Note how in this case "when in Rome" means "I'm going to eat like a fatass and chalk it up to cultural immersion."  See photo below.

UPD8 (update)

Hello all.  I really just want to write my next post, which I have already drafted in my head and which (spoiler alert!!) will be titled "when in Rome."  Intriguing, no? But before I do, I feel that I owe you all a leif (like the first part of my last name) update.

1.  I went to Argentina last week to visit my host family from a Sister Cities exchange I did in high school.  It was great to see them and to indulge in 5 days filled almost entirely with sleeping, movies, drinking yerba mate, and eating.  I left with my heart warmed from reconnecting with the Segura family, my belly bloated from unrestrained gluttony, and a backpack stuffed with dulce de leche and yerba mate. I also carried with me the peculiar feeling that I AM ANCIENT.  Seriously, how is it that four years have gone by since my last visit?  Worse still, how is it that I'm old enough to talk about "time flying by" and "that freak snowstorm back in aught seven"?  What has happened to me?  It perhaps didn't help that I went out dancing with my host sissy Agustina and a passle of her 16-year-old friends.  Luckily, I have a matched set of "Kate posing with meat" photos to illustrate my point, the first taken during my visit in June 2007 and the second taken in June 2011.  Kindly ignore the fact that I look hideous in both and try to see my point.  Nod your head and say "Why yes, Kate.  You are a relic of a bygone era."

Quarter-life crises aside, I had a great visit and I love, love, LOVE Argentina!  Though I have to play down my pro-Argentine sentiments among Chilean company... there's a bit of bad blood between the southern cone neighbors, mostly to do with territorial disputes and man-stealing (which, let's be honest...same thing).  

2.  School's on strike!  Well, technically, the literature and arts campuses are "en toma"...taken over by students, with desks and chairs barricading all the entrances.  Even if professors wanted to conduct classes, they couldn't.  Here are two good articles about the strike: 1 & 2.  So what does this all mean for me?  Well, I'm going on three weeks now without classes.  Rather conveniently, this meant that I didn't miss anything when I went to Argentina.  Since then, I've been taking advantage of the extra time by logging hours at my internship and getting started with final research projects for Middlebury.  My program has arranged some educational forums in Santiago for us next week.  Apart from that, I've been spending time with my Chilean family and taking it easy.  Here are some interesting photos/videos of student activism at my university.

rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub

This post owes its title to my most preferred pre-Thanksgiving-Dinner prayer.  So let's talk turkey.

(FOOD POST!)

I've been eating well in Chile, to say the least.  My host mother prepares all of my meals from market-fresh vegetables, bread still warm from the bakery, and meat fresh from the butcher.  Life is good.

Allow me to describe some of the typical foods that I've tried.  I haven't really been taking photos of my food here (because, let's face it...that's kind of weird) so please excuse the google images.

1.  Pastel de Choclo: a sort of pot-pie type baked dish of shredded chicken and corn paste.  Delicious.

2.  Zapallos Italianos Rellenos: zucchini stuffed with corn, ground beef, and parmesan cheese.  My host mom's specialty.

3.  Completos:  hot dogs smothered in avocado, diced tomato, and astounding amounts of mayonnaise.

4.  Empenadas:  a pocket of dough filled with meat, seafood, or cheese.

5.  Choripan con pebre: chorizo sausage on a hardroll with pebre (tomato, onion, cilantro, hot pepper) ...generally served as an appetizer to a hearty meal of asado (Argentine-style grilled beef).  Chileans like their meat.

6.  Cazuela: Chilean beef stew

7.  Calzones Rotos: "broken panties" - fried dough covered in powdered sugar.  No idea where the name comes from.

8.  Panqueques de Manjar: dulce de leche crepes.  A Valparaíso café standby.

9.  Mote con Huesillo: A non-alcoholic summer drink similar to iced tea.  Made with husked wheat and dried peach.

10.  Pisco Sour: Pisco (grape brandy), lime juice, sugar, bitters, and egg whites (optional).  Best drink on the planet.

11.  "El Terremoto": "the earthquake" - Chileans are the most self-deprecating people on the planet.  As such, they commemorate last year's earthquake with this drink of white wine, pineapple ice-cream, grenadine, and whatever other liquor the bartender has on hand.  Wanna know the best part?  One refers to a post-terremoto hangover  as a "réplica"(an aftershock).

12.  Vino: WINE.  Chile is one of the leading producers of wine, both red and white, in the world.  One can buy a bottle of decent wine for less than a bottle of water.  As such, wine is a welcome addition to any Chilean meal or social gathering. 

13.  Mariscos y Pescado: Seafood.  With its incredible coastline, it should come as no surprise that Chile has a bounty of shellfish and fish-fish.  And it's all good.  

14.  Frutas y Verduras:  Fresh fruits and veggies like you wouldn't believe, both commonplace and exotic.

As in Ecuador, the main meal here is lunch.  Main courses are generally served with rice or potatoes and some form of vegetable/salad.  Breakfast is bread, cereal, or oatmeal with coffee and dinner is a light meal or "once" of sandwiches/cake with tea.

Well.  I think that's eat!  I mean...it.  ahahahahhasjdlfkjslkdfjlkajflkalfkds

Wipe that drool off your face.  

Mayo (May/Mayonnaise)

In keeping with my recent trend of updating once every 3 weeks/when the guilt is so much I can't bear it, I'M BAAACK!

Well, readers of mine, I write to you a changed woman.  I had a rough couple of weeks in Chile and just recently resurfaced from a brief period of hybernation, filled with excessive chocolate eating and facebook stalkery.  Without being a drag, I will tell you that I got hit by a perfect storm of homesickness, real sickness, and petty crime (I lost my handbag in a non-violent, but nonetheless traumatic altercation with a Valparaíso hoodlum a few weeks back).  I think it was just a kind-of mid-semester schlump and, honestly, it was long overdue.  I had spent 4 blissfully happy months in South America without a single glitch...it was about time that karma came a knockin' to take me down a peg or two.  Knock it did, and I can honestly say that I am stronger and more world-wise because of it.  More importantly, I'm back to savoring every last moment in Chile.  I am reborn.

All in all, the month of May was pretty laid-back.  I did, however, have a nice little mid-month retreat with the Middlebury program in Santiago.  We gathered for a viewing of The Judge and the General, a documentary about the human rights trial against Chilean dictator Agusto Pinochet, followed by a question-and-answer session with Judge Juan Guzmán, the judge responsible for bringing Pinochet to justice.  Meeting Judge Guzmán, such an important figure in Chilean history, was absolutely unreal.  Afterwards, we went to La Museo de La Memoria y los Derechos Humanos, a museum dedicated to the countless Chileans who were tortured, oppressed, and "disappeared" under the military dictatorship in the 1970s and 80s.  From there, we moved on to El Cajón del Maipo, a beautiful nature reserve outside of Santiago, where we stayed in cozy cabins, enjoyed the fresh air, ate well, and drank good wine.  As a whole, the weekend was a perfect mix of learning and relaxation.

May also brought with it some great opportunities to celebrate with my host family.  My host sisters, host dad, and I teamed up to make an exquisite lunch on Mother's day.  My chocolate cake made big waves...TGMS (Thank GAWD for Martha Stewart).  Note that in the photo below my host dad is wearing an apron that says "I'm not whipped...BUT HE IS!" (with arrows)  ...pretty rich.

This past Friday my host family, some gringa friends, and some friends of the family gathered to celebrate my host mom's birthday at an establishment called "Donde La Cuca."  As far as I'm concerned, "La Cuca" is Chile's answer to a supper club.  We gorged ourselves on parrillada (heaping platters of grilled meat), ordered much pisco, rum, and wine, and then hit the dance floor to shake a leg to some outdated (though highly entertaining) live cumbia and salsa music.  It was without a doubt one of my favorite nights in Chile.

This week I'll be sneaking off to Buenos Aires, Argentina for a 5-day reunion with my Sister Cities host family from summer '07!  In the mean time, though, I'm going to get to work responding to the questions some of you have been sweet enough to post.

The Oooool' Catch-Up (ketchup) Game

I am woman enough to acknowledge when I've been shirking my responsibilities.  And when it comes to this blog, I've been shirking hardcore.  Rather than beg your forgiveness and provide you with a number of very legitimate, but nonetheless unsatisfying excuses, I'll just tell you what I've been up to (which, if you want to split hairs, might just be a sneaky way of making excuses).

1.  Lollapalooza and Southern Chile.  I made reference to said trip in my last post and consequently left you all hanging on tenterhooks for a month, wondering how it went.  I know that what I did was cruel, that the suspense has been eating away at you... so I'll spill.
     Lollapalooza was a treat.  The best acts I saw were Francisca Valenzuela, Chico Trujillo (both Chilean), Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, and, well, KANYE.  The only blight on my good times was that time that, due to some iffy crowd control, I got caught in a stampede trying to see Devendra Banhart and almost got trampled like Simba in the Lion King.  It was wild!  So wild, in fact that I almost lost a Birkenstock in the mayhem.  (But don't worry...I didn't ACTUALLY lose a Birkenstock.  Just almost.)  Near-tramplings and mortal threats to my crunchiness aside, I had a blast!  The music was great, it was a perfect, sunny weekend, and I was wearing a truly exceptional fanny-pack the whole time.  And, as far as I'm concerned, it's pretty much impossible to have a bad time in a good fanny-pack.

    If Lolla was great, Southern Chile was DOWNRIGHT STUPENDOUS.  I spent six days roaming around Chile's lakes region with my friends and Midd peers, Katie and Andrew.  In that time, we were able to see the mystical island of Chiloe (a GORGEOUS island literally shrouded in mist), Lagos Llanquihue and Todos Los Santos (crystal clear waters nestled in between towering volcanoes), and Valdivia (beer and chocolate...what more can I say?) The views were great, the weather was stellar, and my travel companions were top-notch.  It was the trip of a lifetime.  I think I'll leave it at that and let the pictures do the talking, but for a more comprehensive review, please see my friend Katie's blog post.

2.  MY PARENTS CAME TO VISIT!  Tom and Amber (affectionately known as T&A) spent Holy Week with me here in Chile.  I did the whole family-meet-family thing, translated my buns off, and showed my parents all of my favorite haunts in Viña and Valpo.  For their part, they fed me and my friends EXTREMELY well, put me up in luxury hotels, took me on a wine tour, and showered me in love.  They even brought a little hunk o' sconny with them for my host dad (see photo below)!! It was great to see them and show them around this little corner of the world that has come to mean so much to me.  I miss them already.

3.  My Internship.  I've been spending between 10 and 20 hours a week at the urgent care center where I have my internship.  From my time shadowing doctors, I've learned a ton about primary care and, more specifically, about the public healthcare system here in Chile, its strengths and its weaknesses.  When I can, I help out taking vital signs and assist in minor procedures.  Best of all, thanks to my time at the SAPU, I can make fast friends at parties by whipping out a delightfully graphic story about lancing a puss-filled cyst in a man's groin!!!!  ...Any takers? 

4.  School.  Anyone who tells you that study abroad is just a 5-month vacation that you get college credit for...well...isn't me.  I've been going to classes, reading like you wouldn't believe, practicing my written Spanish in my journal, learning to take and develop photos, and studying for tests/quizzes.  On top of all that, I've had to keep Bowdoin happy, taking care of housing and classes for next semester, planning for some on-campus research this summer, and sorting out a few extra projects to spice up my senior year.  

But what all this boils down to is that I've been having the time of my life.  Please excuse the EXTREMELY patchy bloggage and I hope to write again soon!!!  As always, drop me a line if there's a specific topic you want to hear more about. ;)

Attentively Yours,
Kate

la guagua que no llora no mama

Hola!  The title of this post is an expression my host family taught me the other day: "The baby that doesn't cry doesn't eat."  Wise, no?  It basically means that once in a while, you have to complain to get ahead in life.  Tuck that away for later.

What else?  Hmmm.... Well.  Prepare yourselves for another willy-nilly list of observations and anecdotes, dear readers.  I'm not sure I have it in me to write anything with real structure anymore.

1. OBAMA WAS HERE!  The Obamas are much loved in Chile.  Barack gave a few nice speeches and Michelle looked mega classy. (really, though, when doesn't she?)  There was some discontent here when Obama skirted the issue of America's role in supporting the Pinochet dictatorship, but all-in-all it was a successful visit.  Heck, I'll go ahead and say it.  I was Proud to be an American.  
2. I am currently eating upwards of 1 entire avocado a day here.   They are delicious and cheap and I am in heaven.  
3. Nicknames.  My host family has had 2 girls from the Middlebury program before, but I have earned the glorious title of "La gringa mas gringa" - the whitest white girl.  My family has also referred to me as the "sandwichita de palta," an avocado sandwich.  Why, you ask?  When you squeeze an avocado sandwich, all the good stuff flows out the sides. It's akin to calling me "an open book," or, if you want to put a negative spin on it, "a blabbermouth." I tell them everything, including stories that are perhaps not mine to tell (e.g. my friend Andrew's love life, my friend Becca's ongoing struggles with fleas).  Finally, my friend Katie calls me "la floja," the lazy girl, mostly because I, unlike the other girls in our program, do not work out 6-7 days a week... generally preferring to take long, luxurious naps during my free time.  SO SUE ME.  
4. I miss my Ecuadorian friends, Judith and Melba.  I say this because I mean it from the bottom of my heart and ABSOLUTELY NOT because they told me they were expecting a blog shout-out in the near future.  :)
5. The weather here has been delicious.  Sunny and mid-70s.  My deepest condolences to those of you living in Maine and Wisconsin.  
6. We went on a sunset cruise of the Valparaiso harbor to celebrate my friend Katie's birthday.  GORGEOUS! 
7. Remember how we have a "Middlebury Language Pledge" that says we're only allowed to speak Spanish?  Well we're thinking about making PROMISE RINGS!!!!
8. There's a special way to be a cheapskate when trying to reach someone by cellphone in Chile.  It's called "pinchando" (loosely translated = poking!):  you dial someone's number and hang up before they answer so that they call you back.  Thus, you can converse on your friend's dime and not spend your own precious track-phone minutes.  I am a HUGE fan of pinchando and do it in excess because a) it's funny and delightfully tacky/rude and b) I hate spending money.  However, the last time I employed this tactic in contacting my friend Andrew, he responded with an INCREDIBLY vulgar text message: "pinchate tu madre, puta!" 
9. Chileans drink the most horrible soda in the world.  It's florescent orange and meant to mimic the flavor of papaya fruit.  And it is called...wait for it...PAP!  When pronounced in Spanish, this sounds more like "pop."  But I prefer to say it with a sharp, nasal "a" (could you pass me some PAP?  PAP me some skin!  I'm gonna bust a PAP in your a*$!)  Furthermore, I have officially decided that an alcoholic drink of pap mixed with pisco shall henceforth be known as a "pap smear."
10. There was a little boy crying uncontrollably at the clinic where I have my internship.  When I asked him what was the matter, he told me that he had a fear of heights (the examination table is about 3 feet off the ground, mind you).  Precious.
11. My friend Lizzy (also from Wisconsin) and I had an impromptu contest to see who could say "ooohh maii gaaaahhd" with the strongest 'sconsy accent.  I think I won.
12. Some cars here have a special horn installed to make a cat-call noise.  Hassle-free sexual harassment!!!
13. My friend Becca and I went to a movie with my host sister and her boyfriend a couple of weeks back.  By NO FAULT OF OUR OWN, it ended up looking EERILY SIMILAR to a double date.  My credit card wasn't working so Becca had to buy my ticket... my sister and her boyfriend shared a bag of popcorn, we shared a bag of popcorn... you get the picture.  When the other kids in our program got wind of this, they began to call us "las pololas"...the girlfriends.  UGHHHH.  
14. I've been going to ZOOMBA classes with my host mom, except here it's called "baile entretenido" (entertaining dance!)  Each time I tell my host sister that I went she replies, without fail "awww que entretenido!"  (awww how entertaining!)
15. Once, I asked my Middlebury monitor Cristian how to order a drink light on the alcohol.  He told me that the best way to do this is to order, for example, "un mojito suave" (a smooth mojito).  Eager to practice this new and useful phrase, I asked "Entonces, uno se dice al barman 'un mojito, por favor...damelo suave.' ?" ( "So, one says to the bartender, 'a mojito, please...give it to me smooth' ?" ).  Cristian's eyes got very large and he shook his head in a very decisive "no."  To make a long story short, it turns out that asking complete strangers to "give it to me smoooooth" is not the most advisable way to comport myself in a Chilean discoteca.  

Well that's about it, folks.  This weekend I'm headed to Lollapalooza Chile in Santiago with my Midd friends and host sis to see Kanye West, Devendra Banhart, The National, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros, Cat Power,  and many more delightful musical acts.  After that, we've got a week of vacation from school and I'll be traveling to southern Chile with my friends Andrew and Katie.  To quote those awful t-shirts, life is good.

Smell you later!  -K8

and i'm a monkey's uncle.

Many Chileans have a working knowledge of English and can be downright obstinate about putting it to use when they meet a gringo.  Case in point:  a couple of weeks ago, my friend Andrew and I were in a taxi and the driver told us that he'd been to several cities in the US.  He wanted to explain that he'd been a merchant marine for many years, but instead of simply telling us in Spanish (which without a doubt would have been easier to understand), he stuck his thumb to his chest and declared, in heavily accented English "I am seaman."  We had NO idea what he was saying, or even that he was speaking our mother tongue.  But rather than admit defeat and switch to Spanish, he opted to repeat himself until the weight of his words sunk in: "I am seaman.  I AM SEAMAN.  I.  AM SEAMAN.   I. AM. SEAMAN.  I AM SEAMAAANNN!"